Formula: the other ‘F’ word

Here goes… I should preface this by saying 1) I am not a professional in this field, simply sharing my experience and opinion. 2) I am pro-breastfeeding, and that being said 3) I am 100% pro feeding-your-baby however you need to for them (and you!) to be well. Period.

Breast is Best‘ is a very simple phrase, for something that was so much more complicated than that for me. Before I had my son, when people asked if I was planning to breastfeed I would respond with ‘yes, assuming I can’, all nonchalantly like it was no big deal to me. I told myself to not be married to the idea because I ‘knew’ that things could go wrong or be complicated, but somewhere deep down I was getting very attached to this very maternal and primal thing, I had seen a few people close to me make it look easy, and if I was committed I was sure I could do it too. I am definitely a person who hangs A LOT on expectations and disappointment can hit me hard, so I told myself to not give too much weight to the expectation of breastfeeding coming easily to me… Unfortunately I totally did, I hung my hat on it, put all my eggs in that exact basket, imagined myself breastfeeding in a field full of flowers, bunnies and baby deer (HA!), I committed myself fully… I mean really, what’s the big deal? You have the baby, the baby latches, you repeat every two hours in order to establish your milk supply and you are set to go right?!?!

I also told myself to just embrace the birth of my son however it happened, even if it wasn’t 100% natural, even if it was a C-section. I won’t go into too much detail on this now, but I ended up with an emergency C-section. In summary we heard the words ‘jammed’ and ‘wedged’ coming out of the doctors mouths as they were doing the procedure, no wonder he hadn’t dropped at all after hours of active labour and almost full dilation! I got to be awake during the operation and see our little guy right away and it was the most amazing experience of my life, even though it was not at all how I pictured it. Thank goodness I’m not disappointed about how the birth went down or I really would have put myself through the ringer…

(more…)